Thursday, April 12, 2007

It's not my game... never was this "round ball", basketball thing!

I played it. When I was younger I played it but not with much vigor and I certainly lacked the talent to play the sport poorly, let alone well.

I'm not a huge fan of it nor am I all that well versed in it.

So, when Andrew got a new basketball I saw the handwriting on the wall. I knew I was going to be asked to play the darned game with him, to teach him, to mentor him. I had to hone my skills... or at least pretend I was honing them.

To put it mildly I have no basketball skills to hone!

I never could understand why a person (or people for that matter) would want to get a big, round ball that can't be held in a hand and run up and down a "court". All the while bouncing the ball in front of themselves.

It's called "dribble".

Me, I'd invent new ways to "dribble". They weren't always within the rules but hey, I thought my way of dribbling was a far more effective way of transporting the ball from one end of the court to the other than that conventional method of "bouncing it once for each step and, when you screw up and stop without bouncing the ball you have to pass it" method.

A ridiculous rule!

I mean, that method sucks! Who thought that crap up?

It defies nature! At least my natural abilities.

Bounce a ball and run at the same time... and keep the ball and/or running under control! Try to master that then throw nine other people into the mix... five of them wanting to get that ball away from you.

That's not a natural act, it's simply not right!

Besides, I was always told that most unnatural acts were immoral!

Nah, I'd do the "modified fullback" method... you know, take a bit from one sport and apply it to another.

It was effective, it worked but it would tend to upset those "conventional" folks who seemed pretty set in their ways.

They had no sense of humor.

Anyway, Andrew and I went out to play some 'hoops at the local elementary school today.

I taught him all I know about the sport.

Me, this 6 feet tall, out of shape (well actually, round is a shape), rigid as all get out, clumsy oaf tripping, bouncing, dribbling, "shooting" (that's another story! this "shooting" stuff), passing and falling down all the way from one end of the 'court to the other.

Well, let's just say at the end of the day I think he caught on to my way of "playing" this sport...

...this basketball stuff!

I could tell by his confounded look during our rather candid "post game" discussion that something just wasn't sitting right with him about our first "hoops" day.

"You were showing me what not to do, right?"

Innocent, direct.. you gotta love it!

"Yah right kid!"

Now, where'd the heat balm go?