Monday, May 28, 2007

In memory of all of those close to us.

On this memorial day let's remember those who are no longer with us but meant so much to us in our lives.

Let's remember those who impressed upon us the need to do things right, to understand, to forgive, to be patient, to persevere, to love, to trust, to become.

Let's remember the love they shared.

Let's remember their so many contributions to the lives of all of those they met. Their patience, their love of life, their influences.

Let's understand them for who the were.

Let's keep them close to our hearts and find even some of that grace and goodness that they always seemed to come by so easily.

Let's remember the impacts they made during their stay on this earth and continue to learn from those lessons they taught us.

Let's try to understand even a portion of what they understood and let's share those understandings, those thoughts with others so we can all live life just a little bit easier than before.

Let's pass along to our family, friends, acquaintances... let's pass along to all we meet those attributes, that kindness, that humanity, that love of life they passed along to us.

Let's understand their roles in our lives, their influences regardless of the length of time they spent with us...

Let's remember them on this Memorial Day and thank them for all they've shared with us. All of their wisdom, their love, their knowledge...

...their patience, understanding, insight.

I remember, I'm thankful and I miss them.

I also want to thank those who gave their all to keep us safe, free and strong.

If not for them, if not for their sacrifices then who?

Thank you to all of those fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, sons, daughters, nieces, nephews, cousins, grandparents... friends and strangers who can't be here today because they selflessly paid the ultimate sacrifice for us, our freedom.

Have a safe Memorial Day all. And take a moment to reflect on those who are no longer with us but who mean so much to us!

Take care.

Sunday, May 27, 2007


...they love unconditionally.

I had my heart broke yesterday... again. Andrew's mother had called earlier in the day and left her rare but generic message. We listened to it. It was her "Hi Andrew, it's mommy. I just wanted to tell you that I miss you and love you. I'll call you again. Bye."

My first thoughts were "she must have something planned for the weekend and is getting this phone call out of her way".

It wasn't a series of messages. It wasn't like she was REALLY trying to talk to him. She could have called back a bit later and could have talked to him but she didn't. So I asked Andrew if he wanted to call his Mom. When he told me he did I dialed a "1" in front of her number on our caller i.d. and pushed the redial button.

When I heard it ringing I passed the phone to Andrew.

His face beamed with anticipation, excitement.

As a side note, I can't talk to the... woman. I don't like her, I don't respect her, I don't appreciate anything about her or what she does to Andrew. She's all about her. Even the "gifts" she sends to Andrew on his birthday and Christmas are giftcards that were sent to her address for Andrew by his step Grandmother who has no idea Andrew is with us now. It's our belief that she, (Andrew's mother) opens the cards and boxes that "Grandma" sends to the errant address and repackages them so they'll appear to be coming from her. Otherwise he'll get nothing. Now that's pathetic. This woman, his mother thinks she's a social butterfly, God's gift to man. In short, she's not! I'll be polite and leave it at that.

Alright, I said I'd "be polite and leave it at that" but I have to say one more thing then I'll leave it alone. She's actually said in court several times that men simply adore her. We laugh each time we hear it. Us, the attorneys, other witnesses, the spectators, the others in the courtroom... even the judges. She's her own little freak show and it's funny when she starts talking. Funny to a point and then it gets sickening, pathetic. During her recitals, diatribes, testimonies there comes a point where you realize she actually believes this stuff she's saying... and pity for her rushes to mind. It's fleeting though. There's no pity for her. None. She's her own person. She made herself this empty, soul-less, self-serving sick excuse for a human being. She's certainly not a mother to any of her children... the four that are alive and the several that were either aborted or otherwise died.

She never was, never will be.

I'm sorry, I got side tracked a bit but I wanted to paint some sort of portrait of Andrew's mother for you. Biased? Yes! But a factual, educated, well deserved biasness.

So, back to the phone call. When I dial her phone number for Andrew or when she calls the best thing for me to do is to ignore her. Nothing positive has ever come out of our conversations, hers and mine. She's always accusatory, always "amped up" on something and always threatening. I'm not playing games with her and won't step into that mess with her.

Like I said earlier, she'd called yesterday and left one of her few but very generic messages. Later in the day I asked Andrew if he wanted to call his Mom. My son, daughter in law, my grand daughter and Jackie were all here for dinner. Dad was on his way. It was around 5:30 p.m., our time. That would've made it 8:30 p.m. Georgia time. I was hoping Andrew could talk to her before she got into whatever state of stupor she gets in every day, night, whatever. He said he did so I redialed her number for him and handed him the phone when I heard it start to ring.

He wandered off into one of the other rooms where it was quieter. I watched his face as he started to talk to her. He was beaming! I thought "connection made" and went back to what I was doing. A short time later Jackie noticed there was no noise in the room Andrew went into with the phone so she went to check on him. She found him curled up in the corner crying... the phone cradled in his hands, pressed to his shoulder, still active on our end... his mother had hung up on him.

She'd hung up on her 7 years old son. She never let him talk other than to identify himself.

According to Andrew (who just turned 7 yrs. old) his mother answered the phone and he said "Mommy". She immediately told him "I told you before, I don't want to talk to you! I don't ever want you calling back here again!" '

Now that crushed the kid. He told us he tried to tell her it was him and she told him she knew who it was. After that all she said to him, all she shared with him was her hate! Her self serving, bitter, vile hatred for anyone and anything around her.

Especially him.

He was so hurt yesterday after that call. Very hurt. Oh sure, we got his mind off of what she said shortly after we realized she'd rebuffed him but he'd go back and revisit the call throughout the evening. He'd bring it up again as Jackie, Andrew and I sat together on the couch watching television.

Somehow, we got him smiling again. He's resilient but he remembers.

He brought up the 8 phone calls I'd dialed to her number for him on Mother's Day and how she never answered the calls, never acknowledged his messages he'd left and never called him back until yesterday. He mentioned how she said she was going to "be here" for Christmas last year and never showed up, never called and never wrote. Oh, she did call a couple of days later and said someone had stolen her purse and cell phone so she couldn't call.

He remembers when she said she was going to "be here" for his birthday and even asked if I minded if she would attend his party we had planned for him. Of course, I knew better. I did tell her she could attend the party but I knew better. She never called, never wrote and certainly didn't show up. A couple of days later Andrew got his usual $100.00 Toys-R-Us gift card from his step Grandma (which is great! Grandma is a wonderful person!)... the card that his mother undoubtedly intercepted and put in an envelope with a letter from her, not grandma.

Yeah, although she broke his heart again yesterday he'll still be calling her "mommy".

Kids, they're so innocent, so honest, so forgiving and so loving!

How can anyone turn their back on that?

I can't even begin to explain how I feel let alone how Andrew feels.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Sometimes we just drift away...

...and let life get in the way!

It's tough to keep up on everything happening. I know all of you know that but somehow you keep on top.

Somehow you keep making it work.

We're having our moments here and we're working through them.

One day at a time.

Andrew did an "Old McDonald Had A Farm" skit the other night. Justin, Andrea, Reese, Jackie and I went there to watch him. I have to admit, it was fun!

In a "fun" way.

I remember when Justin and Kerri were doing their skits. We'd go, watch and video... oh thank God for the Camcorders, eh?

Where are those tapes now?


So, Andrew, our little chick in McDonalds farm was tossed to the sheep and pigs as the show went on.

He laughed, danced, sang, shouted...

He had fun!

So did we!

In the end, all of the critters got together to sing the grand finale. They sang their hearts out in tune and eventually, eventually the actors signed off!

What a night!

Oh yeah, and the cow did finally "Mooooo".