Honey, Vinegar, Water and green tea...

The ancient Roman's elixir of the Gods! Fed to Rome's marching legions as they pursued global conquest. We all know what happened there...

I read about it a long time ago. 1-3 tbs. of Apple Cider Vinegar, 8 oz. of water and mix in the honey to taste. Mix it up, drink it a half hour before each meal and voila! you have a dieter's drink that also energizes you... or so they say. The green tea?? well, it takes the place of my coffee I used to drink (like a fiend) all of the time. My doctor made it very clear that coffee was OUT! But, the green tea takes some getting used to. I love the bite of strong coffee and living up here in the Pacific Northwest we have "biting" coffee... strong, biting coffee. The triple shot coffee I like. As for the green tea, it just doesn't have the same kick but I'm sticking with it...

Besides, I don't like my doctor. Well, it's not that I don't like him... he's an okay person but he's getting increasingly demanding and annoying. Of all people you'd think doctors would know that as a person ages certain things happen to their bodies. I'm not talking about the forests of nasal and ear hairs that take root and seem to appear "overnight" shortly after that 40th. birthday... that braidable, combable type of hair. Nor am I talking about the fuzzy vision and marked hearing loss that seems to creep in after you get to the 50 year mark. No, I'm talking about the aching, creaking, popping, crackling, swelling of joints brought about by earlier injuries to the body acquired during those youthful, adventurous years when the bones were made of rubber and anything that could be achieved, was. Those days when mind WAS over matter.

I'm also talking about the ten to twenty pounds of extra padding that collects over the winter months, when things taste good and weather (or any other good excuse) makes exercise less appealing... hence it (exercise) doesn't happen. Either way the doctor should know this stuff and should cut me some slack. I'm not young but I'm also not old. I'm "in between" and it takes me longer to realize I just can't do ALL of the things that I used to do... at least, not as well and certainly not with the same overnight successes.

When he says I have to lose twenty pounds I take it as a personal challenge to lose thirty, what can I say... that's always been my nature... "one-up-manship". My body can stand to lose thirty I think, but he argues with me about that. He claims to know my body better than I do. Hell, I've lived in it for over 51 years... I should know. Besides it reminds me many, many times each day that it, like the doctor, is getting annoyed with me and it seems to be paying me back for what I (and others... I can't take all of the blame) did to it when I was younger. Kind of like a walking, talking, living, breathing vessel of trojan horse viruses... all set to activate at certain stages of life. Some promoting hair growth, some promoting hair loss... some promoting aches and pains, others promoting organ "deterioration" (I hate that word!... "deterioration").

As for the doc... he pokes, prods, weighs, scolds and prescribes remedies and medicines to counteract my body's righteously deserved rebellion. I mean Hell, between the doc and my body I feel like I'm living in a friggin' war zone. My body attacks somewhere, the doc counterattacks with something that makes my body counterattack the doc's counterattack that makes the doc counterattack my body's counterattack and so on... you get the drift... domino theory stuff happening up close and personal, all around me.

So, now the latest battle line is this "weight" thing... and the doc's bedside manner when it comes to weight "challenges" really sucks. It's not like I'm grossly overweight or "obese" but, to put it in his words I'm "in need of some weight loss and stabilization to avoid becoming obese and to avoid the ailments and illnesses" that are associated with being "overweight" (note the distinction he makes between "obese" and "overweight"... not much of one). "After all" he tells me EVERY time I see him... "you're getting older and your body knows it. You're becoming more vulnerable." Yeah, like I have to be reminded...

The thing that really bothers me is that the doc's convinced we're engagegd in a battle with my body and he's probably right. He's assigned himself as the supreme commander over this battle for my health and has mustered all of his knowledge, forces, remedies and medicines to repel this evil body's vengeful assaults. He draws up his battle plans for the year and puts his forces to work counting on me, his loyal lieutenant, to carry them out precisely... (yeah, trust me doc). We discuss these plans periodically, in confidence and with the secrecy that once shrouded the creation of nuclear energy... or at least we think we do. But I got to thinking about the doc's and my top secret, battle plan discussions and realized that while we're making these preparations, discussing the finer points of the battlefield strategies my body is there listening to us, taking notes... in the same room listening and prepping itself for our pending assaults. It's evident to me at least that my body is living any enemy combatant's dream... it's being afforded an unchecked ability to spy on us and our plans 24/7. It's called proximics... not much I can do about that. So in the end, like it or not doc my money's on my body. I actually think it's going to win out some day in this battle of life. Besides, I don't think I've ever owned a car that has gone over 200,000 miles let alone kept one for over 50 years.

Now, back to the vinegar, honey and water concoction mentioned earlier. People say it tastes "peculiar" and you have to get used to it. I'm sure it does but I've been drinking that concoction off and on for so long now that I've pretty much acquired a taste for it. So, I'm back at it... I'm mixing it up and drinking it again. Seems like it's always around this time every year (spring) that I break out the honey, apple cider vinegar and mix it in hot water so I can lose some of that excess baggage I acquired whilst wallowing and eating my way through the winter holiday food troughs before summer comes.

I know it doesn't sound like a very tasty concoction but it is... tasty that is. How tasty? Well, it has it's own unique sweet vinegary flavor so it's tasty... I just can't decide if it's a good "tasty" or a bad "tasty" but it is indeed "tasty" and it seems to work. But then again it's probably all psychological. Either way, I've succeeded in shedding ten of my unwanted pounds over the past week and a half and am targeting the remaining twenty pounds for the next several weeks.

For now the doc's proud, my body's angry and I'm caught in the middle. Go figure, at 51 years old I'm caught in the middle... who'd of thunk it!

Take care all.